September 12th
Catfight
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Catfight is a term for an altercation between two women, typically involving scratching, hair-pulling, and shirt-shredding as opposed to punching or wrestling. It can also be used to describe two human females insulting each other verbally or being otherwise nasty to each other. The many ways that women compare themselves to other women and compete with each other are also referred to as catfighting (or cattiness). Catfights are different from other kinds of fights involving women because they usually involve competition between two or more women, usually over men. Catfight is a term also used on occasion to describe a political campaign between two women candidates. This use of the term however is considered offensive and demeaning.
September 12th, 2008, a Friday
Today marks the opening of the remake of the film "The Women". The original was made in 1939. It is not likely that women have changed all that much in their basic behavior towards other women since then. Sure, we have become empowered, liberated, equal, more fit. But women still know how to tear it up when they don't like another woman or feel that another woman has done her wrong. It's not just catfights, although men seem to love that behavior the most. It's the manipulation, meanness, and "I will destroy you" attitude that seems to be a part of our gender DNA. (There are a few girl bears in my family that try this from time to time. I have an advantage though and when they do that, I just lock them up in the big glass display case until they settle down. Manipulative and mean? Maybe. But, hey, I'm a girl, too, you know.)
It will be fascinating to compare the two movies. I haven't seen either of them. But I am willing to bet that Joan Crawford and Norma Shearer may have a more effective dressing room confrontation than Meg Ryan and Eva Mendes. Just a gut instinct. But when a woman messes around with another woman's husband, sparks are gonna fly. As for me, I would never, ever confront the other woman. I would go straight for the man. Surely we are not going to buy into that ridiculous notion that any woman can just steal our boyfriend or husband and so it's the woman's fault. I'm thinking it's him we should rely on to not be stolen. If he can be stolen, find yourself another guy. One who is theft-proof.
So, I'm thinking to myself, where does this female instinct to fight with each other come from? Are we born with it or do we learn it by example from all the other women? Our moms, sisters, girlfriends?
The other morning, I was in the local healthy food restaurant for breakfast. It was a busy weekend morning and it seemed there were a lot of Democrats there. You know, the arugula crowd. A little family arrives, mom and dad and little girl, maybe 4 years old. She is a little pudgy with tight curly hair pulled back from her face and wearing a sundress. She is cheerful and obviously excited to be there. Her dad looks a little bummed, like he wishes he was somewhere else. But mom seems right in her element and looks even a little powerful in a quiet sort of way. I think it's because she got her husband to come with her. They take a table next to another empty one and begin to pull them together, like they are expecting maybe another family. The little girl spots them coming in the door and is so excited she can hardly stand it. She yells out "Soooppphhhiaaa" repeatedly with a delighted giggle and runs to a smaller girl, maybe a little younger, who has arrived with her mother and a new baby in a stroller. The moms could be sisters. Unfortunately, Sophia does not share her little cousin's enthusiasm and is in a bad mood, the female variety. She has a beauty shop haircut, silky and smooth, with a small ribbon placed just so. She is dressed with a little more thought, a little more put together than little cousin. She is holding a plastic colored cup with a tight lid and a drinking spout. She is clutching it actually, like a prop, and her head is carefully positioned downwards, looking towards the floor at just the right tilt, with a pout as big as day. It is like she is in character. The "I have to make sure I am prettier, more in control and superior to my cousin at all times" character. And she plays it to perfection. When some little thing rubs her the wrong way, she cries, but only briefly for effect. Once she begins to feel confident that her entrance has been effective, she begins to relax and enjoy herself a little more. Poor little cousin is so hurt that Sophia has snubbed her that she begins to cry. Her parents don't much like that and lose patience with her pretty quickly. Sophia's parents on the other hand are used to her mood changes and accept them.
It is amazing to me that something less than four year olds already know how to play the game. Sophia's future high school persona was already on display. Cheerleader, tease, mean girlfriend. And little cousin will be victimized for her bright disposition and less than perfect looks. I say check back when they are both in their thirties. I am willing to bet that little cousin has surged ahead of Sophia in the game of life.
Why can't we all just get along?
GR
Comments